For Today: December 13, 2009

Outside my window... snow gently falling, lightly covering the trees and the ground.

I am thinking...why am I so tired? All weekend I've felt exhausted.  Fighting illness? Recovering from non-stop schoolwork and Kai?

I am thankful for...spending time with Kai and Marc all weekend without thoughts of deadlines and what needs done.

From the kitchen... the beginnings of a pot roast, hot milky-sweet tea and dreams of Christmas baking to come.

I am wearing...jeans, a long sleeve t-shirt and a red sweater...and of course, my slippers.

I am creating... more tiem to spend with my family, a Christmas scrapbook and a unit on Japan.

I am going...to enjoy being home with my family until my basketball game tonight.

I am reading... recipe books and Kai's books to him.

I am hoping...to gain some energy back.

I am hearing...the silence of snow on a background of Marc's electric drill as he makes our kitchen stool safe for Kai, with rails.

Around the house...I smell pine from our Christmas tree.

One of my favourite things...slowing down in preparation for the holidays.

A few plans for the rest of the week...get my Fluevogs repaired, go to the Family Place with Kai, plan my first week back after holiday so I can relax...

For Today: December 13, 2009

Outside my window... snow gently falling, lightly covering the trees and the ground.

I am thinking... why am I so tired? All weekend I've felt exhausted.  Fighting illness? Recoving from my non-stop schoolwork and work?

I am thankful for...spending time with Marc and Kai all weekend without thoughts of deadlines and what needs done.

From the kitchen...the beginnings of a pot roast, hot milky-sweet tea and dreams of Christmas baking to come.

I am wearing... jeans, a long sleeve t-shirt and a red sweater...and, of course, my slippers.

I am creating...more time to spend with my family, a Christmas scrapbook and a unit on Japan.

I am going...to enjoy being home with my family until my basketball game tonight.

I am reading...recipe books and Kai's books to him.

I am hoping...to gain some energy back.

I am hearing...the silence of snow on a background of Marc's electric drill as he make our kitchen stool safe, with rails for Kai.

Around the house...I smell pine from our Christmas tree.

One of my favourite things...slowing down in preparation for the holidays..

A few plans for the rest of the week...get my Fluevogs repaired, go the the Family Place with Kai, plan my first week back after holidays so I can relax...

For Today: November 21st, 2009

Outside my window... it is so dark that I can only see the reflection of the ceiling light in the glass.  It is pouring rain and the sound soothes me.

I am thinking... I should write more often.  It's comforting and clarifying.

I am thankful for... quiet nights, a warm house.

From the kitchen...a slow-cooker meal of Captain's Curry Chicken over rice, with fresh-buttered bread and orange juice...the first day of slow-cooker Saturdays.

I am wearing... an Orb hoodie, Lululemon still pants and slippers.  Oh, comfort.


I am creating... a space of peace, joy and order.  I need practice before bringing another baby into this world.

I am going...to get used to the idea of travel-near-home for awhile.

I am reading...Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within by Natalie Goldberg.

I am hoping... for nothing right now.  Just enjoying the moment.

I am hearing... the hockey game, as Marc is streaming it on the computer in front of me.

Around the house...there are remnants of Kai playing - a ride-on car, a shoe, bouncy ball, books...

One of my favourite things...hearing Kai happily babbling to himself in his crib.

A few plans for the rest of the week...finish up report cards, bake something, play with Kai.

For Today: November 21, 2009

Outside my window... it is so dark that I can only see the reflection of the ceiling light in the glass.  It is pouring rain and the sound soothes me.

I am thinking... I should write more often.  It's comforting and clarifying.

I am thankful for... quiet nights, a warm house.

From the kitchen... a slow-cooker meal of Captain's Curry Chicken over rice, with fresh-buttered bread and orange juice.  The first of slow cooker Saturdays.

I am wearing... an Orb hoodie, Lululemon still pants and slippers.  Oh, comfort!

I am creating... a space of peace, joy, and order.  I need practice before bringing another baby into the world.

I am going... to get used to the idea of travel-near-home for awhile.

I am reading... Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within by Natalie Goldberg.

I am hoping... for nothing right now.  Just enjoying the moment.

I am hearing...the hockey game, as Marc is streaming on the computer in front of me.

Around the house...there are remnants of Kai playing - a ride-on car, a shoe, a bouncy ball, books...

One of my favourite things... hearing Kai happily babbling to himself in his crib.

A few plans for the rest of the week...finish up report cards, bake something, play with Kai.

Where I am Right Now

1.  Feeling creative and again realizing how important creativity-time is for me to feel calm, happy and balanced.

2.  Finally beginning to see the possibility of balance between work, school, family and me-time.

3.  Just at the end of my fascination with the series True Blood.  Vampires have creeped me out and given me bad dreams my whole life, yet based on the high recommendation of Catherine, I thought I'd give it one more shot.  I enjoyed the drama, but one season was enough.

4.  I'm experimenting with acrylics again...at some point, some instruction would probably be valuable.  I really love the texture and richness.  Next I hope to try different brush sizes.

5.  Listening to the large machinery outside of our house.  They've been doing sewer upgrades and road repairs for so long that I can't remember when they started.

6.  Thinking that this is a great idea to do with my graduate work and also with my students.

7.  Kai is growing and changing in so many ways.  He always is, but right now seems pretty big.  He is only taking one nap a day.  He has almost mastered eating with a spoon.  He loves sitting himself in chairs.  He loves walking, "running", and climbing.  He wants hugs and cuddles often.  He's saying: hi, ball, car, mama and daddy often.  He's fake crying.  Such an adventure.

8.  Focusing on SIMPLICITY.

9.  Trying to organize and live by the idea: A place for everything and everything in its' place.

10.  Really, really enjoying alone, quiet time.

Where I am Right Now

1.  Feeling creative and again realizing how important creativity-time is for me to feel calm, happy and balanced.

2.  Finally beginning to see the possibility of balance between work, school, family and me-time.

3.  Just at the end of my fascination with the series True Blood.  Vampires have creeped me out and given me bad dreams my whole life, yet based on the high recommendation of Catherine, I though I'd give it one more shot.  I enjoyed the drama, but one season was enough.

4.  I'm experimenting with acrylics again...at some point, some instruction would probably be valuable.  I really love the texture and richness.  Next I hope to try different brush sizes.

5.  Listening to the large machinery outside of our house.  They've been doing sewer upgrades and road repairs for so long that I can't remember when they started.

6.  Thinking that this is a great idea to do wit my graduate work and also with my students...

7.  Kai is growing and changing in so many ways.  He always is, but right now he seems pretty big.  He is only taking one nap a day.  He has almost mastered eating with a spoon.  He loves sitting in chairs.  He loves walking, 'running', and climbing.  He wants hugs and cuddles often.  He's saying hi, ball, car, mama and daddy often.  He's fake crying.  Such an adventure.

8.  Focusing on SIMPLICITY.

9.  Trying to organize and live by the idea: A place for everything, and everything in it's place.

10.  Really, really enjoying alone, quiet time.

For Today: October 18, 2009

Outside my window... darkness, except for the streetlight.  Lots of roadwork.

I am thinking... I'm going to take the morning for myself, to enrich my creative spirit.  Will I be able to do that if I have another child?

I am thankful for... quiet nights, a hot shower after refreshing exercise, and fun, restful weekends with Kai and Marc.

From the kitchen... warm soup and raisin bran muffins.

I am wearing... my pink plaid flannel pyjama pants, cozy slippers and a hoodie.

I am creating...an acrylic wall painting for Derran, as my siblings and I (and our spouses) decided to make Christmas gifts this year.

I am going... nowhere except in this chair until bedtime.

I am reading... graduate studies articles and looking for a new great book.

I am hoping... I can stay awake long enough to decide on a creative project for tomorrow.

I am hearing... silence except for the quiet hum of my laptop.

Around the house...Marc is watching a movie, Kai is sleeping and toys are everywhere.

One of my favourite things... my own space in which to create.

A few plans for the rest of the week... to stop planning so much, and to be instead of always doing.

For Today: October 18, 2009

Outside my window...darkness, except for the street light.  Lots of roadwork.

I am thinking...I'm going to take the morning off for myself, to enrich my creative spirit.  Will I be able to do that if we have another child?

I am thankful for...quiet nights, a hot shower after refreshing exercise, fun and restful weekends with Kai and Marc.

From the kitchen...warm soup and raisin bran muffins.

I am wearing...my pink plaid flannel pyjama pants, cozy slippers and a hoodie.

I am creating...an acrylic wall painting for Derran, as my siblings and I (and our spouses) decided to make Christmas gifts this year.

I am going...nowhere until bedtime except in this chair.

I am reading...graduate studies articles and looking for a new great book.

I am hoping...I can stay awake long enough to decide on a creative project for tomorrow.

I am hearing...silence except for the quiet hum of my computer.

Around the house...Marc is watching a movie, Kai is sleeping, and toys are everywhere.

One of my favourite things...my own space in which to create.

A few plans for the rest of the week...to stop planning so much, to be instead of always doing.

Kai: The Beginning

Okay, Kai is 8 1/2 and I am pretty sure I have written about his first days somewhere, but I just came across my notes from his birth and want to make sure it is written down.  My memory after all is not my strong suit.

• 36 hours of contractions; couldn't sit for more of it because his head was so low
• Marc, Mom and Dad in the labour and delivery with me.  I vividly remember giggling hysterically because the gas they gave me to use made my teeth numb and made me feel drunk. My midwife told us to stop sounding like we were having so much fun or we would never get out of admitting and into a room.  (Note: it was not fun, drugs are good)
• Mom stepped out of the delivery room for 5 minutes to update Carrie, Kelly and Jason, so  missed the actual moment of birth!
• Marc and my first thoughts:  
• Wow, we made him!
• surreal
• how did he fit inside me?
• there was instant amazement

Hospital Time:

• I stayed in the hospital 3 nights because I had trouble breastfeeding and Kai had some jaundice.  They had to do the heel prick test again and he hated it.
• Kai's appetite was voracious.  As feeding wasn't going so well for me, Marc fed him with a syringe while I slept and by the time he was finished a feeding, Kai had already digested it and was ready for more.
• Kai and daddy batt'ed it out one night as Kai wouldn't stop eating.  Daddy said Kai was crazy but it looked like Daddy was to me.

First 2 weeks:

• Kai burrito - swaddled so tightly the first week so he could sleep
• pterodactyl cry...so cute but only lasted the first week :(
• loved to chew all of his fingers at once, not just his thumb; often used them to wrestle away the bottle during a feeding
• loved away time.  Looked around everywhere, especially fixated on lights
• trouble with bottle - cried and squirmed with gas

Weeks 3/4

• loves blow dryer on his bum - made him pee, which made Marc use it even more
• starting to like vibrating chair
• lifts head and turns side to side while on my chest
• smiling lots
• likes being naked after diaper change

Week 5

• loves to look into my eyes - eyes more focussed, less cross-eyed
• sleeps in vibrating chair 
• eating 'on schedule' almost every 3 hours, with the occasional 4 hour
• gone back to swaddling
• sound of bathroom fan very soothing...to Kai (irritating to me)
• neck much stronger
• kicks legs alot - left more than right
• woke up one night to his grunting - he had fought his way out of his swaddle and pushed himself to end of bassinette
• sleeps longer when held

Week 6

• cooing and gurgling, experimenting with sound
• had two nights with 2 four-hour cycles!
• 3 days of crying and needing consoling most of the day
• he is getting easier at night, getting more stable
• likes to hold my finger (or the receiving blanket) while he feeds
• enjoys kicking the end of the change table while naked
• went in swing for 1/2 hour 3 times...deep breath of relief for me 

Week 7

• calmer during awake time, lasts longer
• BIG week
• we have had 'conversations'.  He is experimenting more with different sounds and he likes it.  He is always so happy when he makes a sound and when you made one back.  Big smiles
• 3 nights in a row I didnt have to get up at 5:30 and sleep with him on the couch...he slept right through!
• still only sleeping about 10 hours a day
• feel asleep without rocking on his own a few times
• went to Movies for Mommies with Kel and he was great
• more hand/arm control - can get his fist to his mouth, just doesn't know how to suck it yet

Week 8

• no routine for feeding, he's all over the place
• one day of really good day naps - 2x2 hour naps and a few other small ones
• after feeds he has at least 1/2 hour of play time and smiles
• given up on trying to get him sleeping in the day - taking road trips for errands as he often sleeps in the car...doing whatever it takes
• a few cranky feeding days - needed to rock him while feeding
• got cradle cap

Week 9

• crying less
• Monday night had a 5h, 4hour, then 3 1/2 hour feeding cycle starting at 8:30 pm. Yay!
• I cooked a few meals!
• woke up and was happy before feeding and didn't wake up crying
• 3 x 2 hour afternoon naps, 3 days in a row
• focused on sucking his hands - brings tongue to hands instead of hands to mouth
• sticks out his tongue while concentrating hard to do something
• saying 'agoo'

Week 10

• talking much more
• got shots - cranky, drowsy, right leg swollen

Week 11

• spend most of time kicking, lifting legs up toward roof to do bicycle kick
• rolled onto side 3 ties, but never since
• smiling all the time

Week 12

• working on supporting his head and strengthening his neck.  Likes to sit leaning in corner of couch and try to sit up unsupported.  Neck bobbles around a bit but getting much stronger.
• tries to lift head from laying down on back too, but no success
• feeding ever 3-4 hours
• starting to nap after every feeding - needs soother and sometimes rocking to start, needs to rock back to sleep eery 20 minutes but sleeps about 1 1/2 hours

Week 13

• continuing more frequent daytime naps
• had one night with only 1 night feeding!!! 8 pm - 1:30 a.m. - 6:30 pm
• can lift his head up from tummy time for longer periods of time
• can suck his fingers and thumb
• doing one 5 hour cycle, usually from 5:30-10:30, then 3-4 hours the rest of the  night
• eating more at night - up to 240 m
• rolled onto side 3 times, not consistently yet

Weeks 14-16

• holding his own hands lots
• likes to suck his fingers
• rolls onto his side consistently, sometimes sleeping like that
• week 16 - rolled onto tummy twice, and from tummy to back twice
• likes to practice sitting and standing most of the time
• started sleep training
• enjoys looking at books
• first cold
• Daddy loves putting Kai's hair into a mohawk

Weeks 17-18

• goes to bed easily at 7:15 pm, sleeps until 11:45ish then wakes up again at 5:30ish
• loves to stand everywhere, including in the bath
• loves the jolly jumper
• starting to 'get' the exersaucer toys and turning around in it
• reaching out to grab things, including my lips and hair
• has giggling fits
• takes 2 long naps consistently but doesn't like to nap between 2:30 and bedtime
• grabbing his feet
• 'talking' in loud screams
• throwing toys to the ground
• some momentary independent sitting
• sucking his toes

Five Months

• started solid food at 5 1/2 months - loves it
• turning over consistently
• on tummy, turns around in circles
• pulled himself up in bathtub
• talking a lot, especially in the morning; working on 'ba' sound
• blows raspberries
• waking up at midnight and betwen 3-5 am somewhere
• once slept midnight to 7 am
• first plane flight to Quebec.  Great on way there, tough ride back
• no tummy he is pulling knees and bum up
• discovered bath faucets, loves to stand and hold them
• hugs!!
• full push up
• learning cause and effect by dropping and picking up toys
• teething but no teeth yet

Six Months

• got 2 teeth (bottom middle)
• sitting independently
• eating solids 3 times a day - likes most but not green veggies or peas
• consistently waking up only once per night
• rocks back and forth on knees

Seven Months

• pushing self forwards and backwards on knees
• does downward dog and plank
• doing swimming lessons

Eight Months

• 4 top teeth
• crawling
• standing and holding on to things
• pushes himself to sitting
• likes to open and close things - doors, drawers

Nine Months

• mostly sleeps through the night, awaking between 5 and 6 for the day
• likes to play follow the leader while crawling
• HATES diaper changes - fights it every time
• pulls himself to standing

Ten Months

• cruising around furniture
• walks unsteadily holding my hand