Welcome!

Every night I go to bed, I have thoughts swirling in my head. Things to do. Scrapbook pages I want to create. Gifts I want to make. Skills I want to learn. And, of course, daily happenings that I don't want to forget, but invariably will by tomorrow morning, only to pop up in a random thought weeks down the road. So, here I am. I may use this blog daily to empty my head and heart before cuddling up in my duvet, or as it may be, I may write in it once a month. Who knows. It is for me, but perhaps something I write or learn may spark a fire in someone else. Perhaps it may quiet a mind or make you feel like you are not alone out there. It is for me. But perhaps it is for you.

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Nico: 3 months

 You happy little boy, you make every day a joy.  This first picture is so like you - relaxed, happy and enjoying life.  This has been a full and fun month with you.

Some growing milestones:

Every minute you are awake, it is like we have taken you to an amusement park for you first time.  Everything makes you smile: when we stick our tongues out, when we make noises, people walking by...I hope life continues to be so amazing and wonderful for you.

Like the loving boy you are, at 12 weeks you waited until I, Daddy and Kai were all watching to roll over from your tummy to your back for your first time (and ironically, last time for much longer).

Experimenting - the world and everything in it is a toy.  You stick your tongue out and twist it like no one has ever done it before. Being able to lift your legs up now, you train like you are heading to the Olympics.  People, television in the background, moving objects...like the are the best thing you have ever seen, each one.

You are beginning to have some hand control, which is perfect timing to help yourself learn how to put yourself back to sleep, but you are sucking on your fist and thumb now for soothing too.  The other side of hand control is grabbing - you find my hair fascinating and Oma bought you a rattle that you shake and chew on all the time.

Sleep training:  You love to sleep...on me mostly, as it happens.  Since the beginning, you have taken to cuddling up on me in the carrier or on the couch and when I am with you, it is the only place you will sleep.  When Daddy took the 'night shift' so I could sleep, for some reason you would sleep in the bassinette for a few hours at a time, but as soon as I entered the feeding/sleeping cycle, day or night, it was on me you preferred.  As much as I loved the sweet smell, warmth and feel of you curled again me and totally surrendered, my back was less enthusiastic.  So we decided it was time for some sleep training.  As with everything, you took to it like a dream.  Yes, we had a few days of you being confused and upset on and off, but the routine suited you and you began to sleep in your crib, getting up less and less during the night.  After a few weeks, you were routinely sleeping through the night to everyone's surprise and excitement.

FAMILY

You are blessed, our wee one, to be surrounded by family so often, but December is an especially busy, exciting time of traditions and visits with both sides of the family.  Before the actual day of Christmas (as we will include that in your 4 month post), we had a tree decorating party and family photos at Uncle Jason, Auntie Lisa and Lizzie's new house in Langley; we went to the Christmas train; we had a sleepover at Grandma and Grandpa's and watched your brother toboggan one evening with his good friend Ben and his family.  This is one of my favourite times of year, and I am so glad this is the beginning of sharing it with you.  You are so loved, Nico, and share your love openly in return.  We too are blessed.





Friday, December 20, 2013

A Quiet Moment

Snow falling
good book in hand
baby sleeping
hot mug of chai
exhale...

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Winter Joy Calendar

Yes, I know.  It is just like me to try to schedule in joy.  However, I love this season so much that there are things I want to make sure to do and to experience.  In fact, maybe I will try to do this kind of list for every season.  Will we get to them all?  Probably not.  I do value calm and downtime as much as (or maybe often more than) the next person, but I like to have options.  So here are some activities I will put on my list in no particular order.

Giving

1. Donate pyjamas to Dr. Janelle's yearly Pyjama Drive in coordination with the Lower Mainland Christmas Bureau.  To read more about it, go to http://www.mainstchiropractic.ca/pyjama-drive
Pyjama Drive

2. Put together a Christmas gift basket to a family in need through Cedar Cottage Neighbourhood House.

3.  Make cookies/treats to take to the people who work Christmas Eve to help people in need.  For example, the hospital emergency room, the fire hall, the ambulance hall or the police station.

Making

1.  Make baking in a jar gifts.  For example, this year we are making Cowboy Cookies in a Jar.  You can find some great ideas here: http://theartofsimple.net/17-last-minute-gift-ideas-from-your-pantry/

2.  Participate in our yearly cookie exchange the first weekend in December.


3.  Create our yearly Christmas tree ornament.  I hope to begin a new tradition this year with the kids making an ornament every year that will then go in a box for them to take when they move away from home.

Having Fun

1.  Toboganning at Cypress Mountain with friends and family.



2. Weekly Friday night movie nights.  We will start tomorrow night with the Polar Express.  In the future I hope to watch this the Friday before we...

3.  Go on the Polar Express in Squamish.  I didn't hear about this until too late this year, so will try to book earlier next year.

4.  Continue our yearly family tradition of Bright Nights in Stanley Park.

5.  Snowshoeing.


Learning

1.  Even though I am not religious, I would like Santa Claus to have a little more meaning that someone who brings presents.  So I think I will incorporate St. Nicholas on December 6th next year.  See this blog for more information: http://theartofsimple.net/st-nicholas-the-real-santa-claus/

Any winter fun you have that we may love too?

Monday, December 2, 2013

To My Sweet Boy in Times of Trouble
















My sweet boy,

Underneath that crazy, fun-loving exterior, you have a kind and sensitive heart.  I love that you embrace both sides of yourself and are not afraid to share either.  These past three months for you have been a struggle.  So much change in a short time for such a young guy that I know it must be overwhelming and confusing at times.  Until recently you were our only little boy and you have been showered with love in so many ways and from so many people that it must be hard to have to share us with your little brother.  We understand, little one, that it must seem as if you have to be a big boy all of a sudden.  You have to help out more, become more independent, learn all about school and make new friends all while trying to figure out your place in the world.  We know.  We are doing everything we can to make it easier for you.  It takes some adjustments on all our parts.  Know that we love you with all our hearts and always will.

This year you have also been trying to understand what dying means.  It started in March when we visited your Great-Papa's grave.  You were so sad and could not understand why someone we love was under the ground.  You were concerned that he did not want to be there.  I did my best to explain it to you, but some days I do not even know what I believe to be true.  A few weeks ago, my Nanny's partner Harry died and she came to stay with Grandma and Grandpa for the week.  We went and visited her and when your teacher asked, you told her, "Nanny is sad because Harry died."  Simple, but not. 

You have been having trouble with so many things lately that I am sure you are just figuring out how to process everything.  You cling to me when I leave you at kindergarten.  You take many self-chosen breaks in the coat room at school.  You have started using so many more comfort items again, including stuffies and your old blankie.  In the day, you are so emotional and at night you need me to lay with you as you fall asleep.  You are scared of everything these days as well.  Perhaps it is your imagination growing or maybe it is an excuse to take me with you wherever go you.  Whatever it is, know I am here to walk through it with you.

As we are sure you are aware, your Opa is very sick and will not be with us much longer.  I do not yet know what to tell you.  You understand dying means that we will not see Opa anymore and we can explain the scientific reasons why people die, but I do not know how to explain how to heal your heart or feel better.  It is sad to have to lose a loved one so young.  What I do know is that when you are surrounded by people who love you so much, as you are, we will do everything we can to bring you peace.

My sweet boy, you are going through a lot right now, but know that whenever you go through times of trouble, we are here for you.  We are here to listen, and to hold you, and to love you with all our hearts.